Thursday, March 25, 2010

Full-length Mirrors, Morse Code, and Barking Dogs

I'm off to the Northern Colorado Writers Conference tomorrow and Saturday, so you'll be hearing about my adventures in late postings tomorrow night and Saturday night (provided I'm not too exhausted to think and type at the same time).

Today I went to J.C. Penney to look for something new to wear at the conference. Looking at myself in the full-length mirror was a predictably unpleasant experience. I bought a very long jacket to hide the results of consuming too many Hershey's Kisses, M&Ms, and a lot of other things I won't even mention. Add to that months of inactivity while I sat at my computer, writing a novel, and you can imagine the damage I've done.

I can't tell you how much I hate full-length mirrors.

Now I'm (bad word deleted) depressed.

You know what this means. Yes, it's time to stop eating and start exercising. I've brought this on myself, and I must face the consequences. I'm not going to bore you by constantly crying on your shoulder, but please be understanding if I get cranky.

Five Other Things That Make Me Cranky

1. My husband listening to Morse code (practice dictation) in the next room while I'm trying to write my blog post. Yes, that's happening at this very moment.

2. The speed with which dust accumulates in our house.

3. Listening to state, national and international news, including financial news.

4. Listening to politicians.

5. Barking dogs in the neighborhood (strangely similar to crankiness triggers 3 and 4).

I'm sure it will all be better tomorrow once I start enjoying conference activities.


Ann Elle Altman said...

What I would do is record 'Shut up! S.O.S, my husband is trying to drive me mad!' in Morse code and play it repeatedly until your husband figures out what it means.


Anonymous said...

Ach, the dogs. We are surrounded by them. Two to the west, one each to the north, south and east. In addition, each summer, our back door neighbors' kid and girlfriend move in to the camper (yes, pop up perpetually parked right across the lot line) where they LIVE for the entire summer.

Now that makes me cranky.

Sheesh, I didn't know I had so much pent-up animosity going on at the moment...however, I feel better now! Thanks for initiating the vent!

Jemi Fraser said...

I like Ann Elle's solution!! :)

Enjoy the conference!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

HAHA! Oh my...that's TOO funny about your husband. He might have to be the victim in your next mystery.

I'm with you on the dressing rooms. I think it's the fault of the people who do the lighting for those things. I always look sickly.

Mystery Writing is Murder

Kay said...

I'm always cranky and don't need any excuses to stay that way.

Jeanie said...

I just commented on another post about blogging being an expanding experience in more ways than one since I sometimes ignore my treadmill in favor of the computer chair. Great post, except for the part about the M&Ms because now you have made me want some.

Jan Morrison said...

I too need to take up exercise. Or quit eating those dangerous things. I went and lost all sorts of weight and now it is sneaking back. Darn it. Chase the dogs! Voila! Use pent up anger as rocket fuel to exercise! I'm often cranky as folks will tell you and I'm trying to change it with my new mantra - "Stupid writing is going badly" mantra: "I chose this life". "Rotten step-kids driving me crazy" "I chose this life." The politicians and the news are easy. I simply don't listen anymore. I get audio books from the library for the car and otherwise just don't turn on the radio. Barking dogs. Hmmmm....I have a rooster so I'm probably on my neighbor's blog...

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Would a virtual hug from half-way across the world make you feel a little less cranky?

and I love Ann's solution!

KarenG said...

Hope you find something smashing to wear to the conference! A great outfit can make you feel beautiful, despite the M&M's :) Have fun and I'm looking forward to a report when you return.

Talli Roland said...

Oh, barking dogs are the scourge of my life! They really make me mental.

Have a great time at the conference! Looking forward to hearing all about it.

Watery Tart said...

Ack! I feel your pain on the full-length mirror thing--we don't have any in our home--which possibly is a mistake. I might behave better if I had that check. I've been trying to behave of food and activity since January... NEVER easy, so good luck!

And you think Morse Code is annoying, Try constant repeats of The Office! (my whole family seems to be addicted and it annoys me to no end)

Patricia Stoltey said...

What a great bunch of comments...and I was offline trying to get my head around upcoming agent/editor pitch sessions, get the house (more) ready for company, and watching "Human Targe"t from the DVR with hubby Bill. I feel like I missed all the online fun.

I love Ann's solution...except to record the code I'd have to brush up on something I haven't used since I passed the 13 wpm test required to get my General ham license about 20 years ago. Of course, it would be one more thing I could do instead of working on my manuscript revisions. :)

And Rayna, virtual hugs are wonderful. Thanks! I feel better already.

Elizabeth, instead of knocking him off in the next mystery, how about making my husband the new humor topic on my blog? Sort of like Joan Rivers' husband Fang?

And barking dogs, diet and exercise seem to be shared crankiness triggers the world over. We are so much alike in so many ways.

Carol Kilgore said...

Just what is it with dust? I don't want to know what goes on when the lights are off.

Terry Odell said...

I am so with you on #'s 3 and 4.

Full length mirrors are one thing, but what about those triple mirrors. No one should ever have to see her view from the rear.

Patricia Stoltey said...

Carol and Terry -- The thought of dust gremlins roaming through my house at night, and the horrible thought that someone might put a triple mirror in my bedroom gave me the giggles. I think I need to buy a baseball bat and keep it handy, just in case...