Hey, What's So Funny? by Alan Orloff, Guest Blogger

I'm honored to welcome Alan Orloff back as he celebrates the release of Killer Routine, the first novel in the Last Laff mystery series. His debut mystery, Diamonds for the Dead, came out last April and was nominated for the Best First Novel Agatha Award.

There's a good reason for that. Diamonds for the Dead is an excellent mystery. I'm really looking forward to the Last Laff series as well.

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Hey, What’s So Funny? by Alan Orloff, Guest Blogger


Thanks, Pat, for inviting me to your blog today. It’s always a pleasure to visit!

I was never the class clown. I was the guy who sat in the very back of the classroom, doing crossword puzzles while the instructor lectured. I was a “don’t speak until spoken to” kind of guy. I preferred it that way.

In smaller groups, of people I knew well, I was a little more outgoing. And I usually went for the one-liners. I didn’t always succeed, but my first instinct was (and still is, usually) to try to come up with something funny/witty/clever to say. I tend to shy away from true, raw emotions, I guess.

Which is fine by me.

So how did I end up writing a series featuring a stand-up comic?

I’ve always loved a good laugh. I still remember when I snuck into a midnight comedy show at a Catskills resort (cliché, huh?) and heard a comic named Joey Villa. I laughed until I cried (what? I was about fifteen—everything remotely dirty seemed funny to me). The next day, my ribs ached.

Since then, I’ve enjoyed watching all types of comedians. Had I ever thought about getting up on stage and giving it a try myself? No, not really. The closest I got was delivering a roast-type toast at my brother’s wedding (I killed it, by the way).

However, now that I’ve written about a stand-up comic, I had the harebrained idea that I should get on stage to see what it felt like first-hand. You know, immersion research. So I set out to write a little routine (a KILLER ROUTINE, wink, wink), suitable for an open mic night. At least one where everyone is really, really drunk.

Of course, I don’t know if I’ll have the guts to actually follow through with it. I’m not sure I could bear to stand in front of thirty (or more) people expecting me to make them laugh.

Although I do admire the guts of stand-up comics, my desire to write about them goes deeper than that. I want my protagonist to be more than just a funny face. I want him to have some depth. I believe there’s a fine line between tragedy and comedy, and there always has been, especially for many of the most famous, and influential, comics. Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, and many others had their share of flare-ups and flame-outs (literally, in Pryor’s case).

That’s the mother lode I wanted to mine.

Make no mistake, the books in The Last Laff mystery series are not light, funny stories. They are suspenseful mysteries (at least I hope so!) with humor running throughout (at least I hope so!). After all, the books are set in the comedy club world.

Hey, did you hear the one about…?

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The first book in Alan Orloff’s Last Laff Mystery series, Killer Routine, is now available at your favorite booksellers and on-line. For more information about Alan and his books, please visit his website. Alan blogs at A Million Blogging Monkeys, tweets as @AlanOrloff, and appears on Facebook, also as Alan Orloff. I think he's trying to tell us something.

Alan, thanks again for paying us this most welcome return visit. Let's do it again next year?

Wednesday Scramble (and Mystery by Twitter)

Tomorrow's Guest Blogger

Blogger friend and mystery author Alan Orloff will be here tomorrow to talk about his novel (Killer Routine) which debuts a new mystery series featuring a stand-up comic.


Speaking of Mysteries, Here's a New Twist

The crime writing festival Magna cum Murder that takes place in late October in Muncie, Indiana (home of Ball State University) is going to have a bit of fun this week on Twitter. Here's the scoop direct from the Magna cum Murder e-mail:

Magna cum Murder intern Austin Lugar is a Telecommunications major at Ball State University. This semester he is in a Pop Culture and Communication class and they were assigned a project to show the power and potential of Twitter. For his project, Austin decided to craft a murder mystery that will take place entirely through a real time Twitter feed.

Seven characters are going to a mansion for a dinner party when--what do you know--a murder takes place. Along with the host of the party, his surly butler, and the determined detective the crime will (probably) be solved.

You can follow along on Wednesday, March 30th starting at 7PM EST. It will take place for about three hours.

There are two ways to watch all of the comedic action. Keep track of the hashtag #popclue. All of the tweets will have that tag.

Or you can follow all 10 characters which you can find at these links:

http://twitter.com/DetectiveNotes
http://twitter.com/JennyFlowers01
http://twitter.com/LowlyButler
http://twitter.com/MisterGainey
http://twitter.com/MsProfessor
http://twitter.com/NextBestGangsta
http://twitter.com/PinkNRad
http://twitter.com/SteveOnTop
http://twitter.com/VirtualMom18
http://twitter.com/WriterTy

This will be an entertaining experiment in telling a story with a new platform. There will be plenty of jokes and clues through the duration. The more people follow along the more fun it will be. So if you think this sounds good, please tell your friends to follow these accounts or the hashtag. (If you write about this, I would love to know.)

"I hope to see you on Twitter this Wednesday at 7PM!" says Austin.

That's tonight, folks, at 5PM Mountain Time.


Adding to My Kindle Library

I just bought Alex J. Cavanaugh's CassaStaR and I already have Headwind by KK Brees. I need to pick up a couple of mysteries as backup.

I've had the Kindle since Christmas, but keep on reading hardcovers and paperbacks when I'm at home. I'm getting ready for a trip though, and I'll have a three-hour layover at O'Hare Airport in Chicago. All I need is a venti latte from Starbucks and my Kindle and I'll be fine.


The A to Z April Blog Challenge Begins on Friday

Even if you don't plan to participate this year, you might want to visit some of the fine bloggers who will keep the challenge going. The list is at Arlee Bird's tossing it out blog.


What I'm Reading

The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest

I'm just hoping these folks all said their longevity is directly related to their daily intake of wine and chocolate (in moderation, of course).

It's not easy to be in three places at once...

but I'm doing my best. Besides my token appearance here to remind you tomorrow is my last Wednesday Scramble until May, I'm at:

Chiseled in Rock for my regular Chiseled Tuesday to spread the word about the A to Z April Blog Challenge 2011 which begins on Friday (the last time I looked, the list of participants numbered 752), and

I'm a guest at April Moore's Epicurean Vegan with my variation on a yummy banana muffin recipe that was even better after I made a couple of substitutions.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

When You Run Out of Good Ideas...Run to Bartlett's

A version of this post appeared here in June, 2009:

I wanted to use the quote, "No good deed goes unpunished," in a story, and it occurred to me that although I use the phrase from time to time, I had no idea of its origin. I pulled my copy of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations from my bookcase and found the phrase first in the index under "unpunished."

When I followed the page reference back to the quotations, I was disappointed. The source is anonymous. That piqued my interest, however, and I found almost twenty pages of song verses, sayings, proverbs, and rhymes for which the authors are not known.

These seem especially relevant for the times:

"Keeping up with the Joneses."
.....Popular saying

"A fool and his money are soon parted."
.....English proverb

"Use it up, wear it out;
Make it do, or do without."
.....New England maxim

"You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!
.....Remark -- Made by an unidentified cabinet member (possibly Secretary of the Interior Jacob Dolson Cox (1828-1900), quoted by Henry Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, ch. 17.

"It is a newspaper's duty to print the news and raise hell."
.....The Chicago Times (1861)

If you have a copy of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations in your own reference library, you can find a lot of good article and essay material. For instance, did you know that Henry David Thoreau is credited with this:

"Nothing is so much to be feared as fear."
.....Journal [1906], September 7, 1851

But in similar words, so is the Bible (Proverbs), Montaigne, Francis Bacon, Wellington, and then, finally, Franklin Roosevelt.

You can brainstorm new articles or stories from any of these quotations. For instance, articles on personal finance and why people should pay attention to those old sayings. Perhaps an essay on fear, or simple truths that survive centuries of change. Or a political blog about congressmen who need to be smacked on the snout. That one should be pretty easy, no matter where your political sympathies lie.

Have you ever used a famous quotation as the basis for a blog post, short story, or magazine article? Tell us about it.

Have You Heard...?

About the Flip Dictionary?

The product description at amazon.com says in part: " Best-selling author Barbara Ann Kipfer has created a huge reference that offers cues and clue words to lead writers to the exact phrase or specific term they need. It goes beyond the standard reverse dictionary format to offer dozens of charts and tables, listing groups by subject (such as automobiles, clothing types, plants, tools, etc.)"

I just bought a copy and I love it.


About the A to Z April Blog Challenge 2011?

The challenge was up to 614 participants as of yesterday afternoon. You're running out of time as the challenge begins on April 1st. It's a lot of fun and a great way to make a bunch of new blogger friends. You can sign up at Arlee Bird's tossing it out blog.


About the Chiseled in Rock Blog?

Chiseled in Rock focuses on writing-related topics and features new releases from the authors who belong to Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers. CIR attacks controversial topics such as: Stupid Writing Rules and Writers Over the Edge: Granny Smith, Mystery Writer.


About The Prairie Grass Murders, now on Kindle and Nook?

I haven't done a lot of promotion for this e-book yet. I'm hoping to get The Desert Hedge Murders out there in the next few months and then give them a big joint push. You may add The Prairie Grass Murders to your Kindle or Nook TBR library anytime.


See you Monday. I hope you have an awesome weekend.

Secrets by Maggie Toussaint, Guest Blogger

My guest today is Maggie Toussaint, author of the Cleopatra Jones mystery series from Five Star/Cengage as well as novels of romance and romantic suspense from Wild Rose Press. Like many of us, Maggie did not start out as a fiction writer. With marriage, family, and career to deal with, it was only later that she transitioned from scientist to freelance writer.

One of the things she likes about writing mysteries is the puzzle involved, the who-dun-it. And what works better than a secret to hide the identity of a killer or send the protagonist after the wrong suspect?


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Secrets by Maggie Toussaint


Secrets grab your attention. Two long-running television programs by Mark Goodson and Bill Todman a few years back, “What’s my line” and “I’ve got a secret,” popularized at-home guessing and entertainment to solve a small mystery.

One aspect of “What’s My Line” that fascinated me was the imposters. They boned up on the secret-holder’s vocation, ad libbed, and lied with straight faces.

Years later, as I began writing mystery books, I realized it’s important to have imposters and secrets in a story. With multiple people who could be murder suspects, readers keep turning pages. With layers of secrets, characters have a lot at stake. Both imposters and secrets foster conflict and add reader interest.

In my cozy, On The Nickel, Mama’s car is the murder weapon, and my sleuth Cleopatra Jones has to not only prove Mama wasn’t behind the wheel, she has to figure out who ran over Mama’s rival. That’s not the easiest thing in the world, especially when Mama is keeping several secrets and has no alibi for the time of death.

Her secrets are enough to drive a daughter crazy.

Why won’t Mama come clean and reveal her secrets? That’s what Cleo wants to know. Why can’t Mama give a straight answer to a straight question?

Knowing Mama, that’s not possible. For one thing, she has a weak heart. For another, she hates being told what to do. Lastly, she doesn’t consider that she has to answer to anyone about anything.

So yeah, Mama’s got secrets, and she’d rather go to jail for murder than let the rest of the world and her immediate family learn her closely held secrets.

Must be pretty powerful secrets, eh?

Unraveling secrets is a time-honored plot device. I’d love it if you share about a book you’ve read that contains secrets. One lucky commenter will win a copy of On The Nickel.

Meanwhile, here’s an abridged excerpt from the book:

I entered the back of the meeting room in time to see Mama stride up to Erica’s podium. My eyes watered at the thick cloud of sweet perfume.

Mama planted her hands on her hips. “I’m saying what nobody else has the guts to say. You are despicable. That outreach activity was supposed to bring joy and laughter to those dying children. You crushed their hopes. Worse, you gave them false hope. They were crying, Erica. You caused those dying children to suffer more.”

“Errors happen,” Erica said.

“This one could have been avoided.”

Erica’s thin nose came up. “You think you could have done better?”

“I know so. All that hard work the committee put in. You wasted it. You hurt those kids. Those circus tickets were nonrefundable. You threw away money we worked hard to raise.”

“Don’t worry.” Erica barked out a sharp laugh. “We’ll find more needy kids to show our civic merit. The hospital has a never-ending supply.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. A glance at Mama’s flame-red face and I knew Mount Delilah was about to erupt. I hurried forward.

“I demand your resignation as chair of the Ladies Outreach Committee!” Mama shouted.

“You’re out of order, Delilah,” Erica shrilled. “Sit down and shut up.”

Mama’s mouth worked a few times with no sound emerging. I touched her shoulder. “Mama?”

She glared at Erica. “You can’t talk to me that way.”

“Think again.” Erica smacked her palm on the podium. “This is my meeting, my committee, my church, my town. I can talk any way I want.”

Poor Mama. We needed to get out of here before both of us did something we’d regret. I tapped Mama’s shoulder again. “Excuse me, but I have to leave. Please come with me now.”

Mama nodded to me and inhaled shakily. She narrowed her eyes at Erica. “This isn’t over.”

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Maggie, thanks so much for being my guest blogger today. You took me back a few years when you talked about "I've Got a Secret" and "What's My Line?" My family and I used to watch those shows every week. They had a pretty long run, starting not long before my dad bought our very first television set.

To learn more about Maggie and her books, visit her website. She also blogs at Mudpies and Magnolias. That's where I found this nice quote from the Kirkus review for On the Nickel: "The second in this amusing and romantic series (In for a Penny, 2008) is a welcome addition to the cozy ranks."

And don't forget, your comment on today's post gives you a chance to win a copy of On the Nickel.

Wednesday Scramble

Tomorrow's Guest

Maggie Toussaint, author of the newest Cleopatra Jones mystery, On the Nickel, will be here tomorrow. Her post is about Secrets...


That Interview with Chuck Sambuchino

If you missed my interview of Chuck Sambuchino (of the well-known Guide to Literary Agents blog) over at Chiseled in Rock blog yesterday, you can find it here.


What I'm Reading

Devil's Corner by Lisa Scottoline. I'm way behind on reading Scottoline's excellent thrillers, so I'm enjoying this one a lot.


An Update on Katrina Katie Kitten

Katie is doing well these days, getting healthier and happier each day. She plays hard now without repercussions, she's eating so much I call her Miss Piggy, and she's reasonably accepting of the strange treatment protocol she's subjected to.

Katie has a mega-esophagus which means food tends to collect there instead of passing quickly into her stomach. Since she also might have a hiatal hernia, she's probably also suffering from acid reflux and food backing up into the esophagus, causing all kinds of pain, ulceration, etc.

The treatment involves three different medicines, two of them administered three times a day with varying requirements for distance from other meds and feeding. She must be standing upright while she's eating, and we have to keep her vertical for 30 minutes after she eats (and right now that happens six times a day). In mid-April there will be more tests to check on her progress and to determine if the hernia is really there and if so, if it can be repaired.

I shudder to think of what would have happened to Katie if she had been adopted by a younger working couple who couldn't give her this amount of time. And to be truthful, we would never willingly have adopted a special needs kitten if we had known about it ahead of time. Of course, after the first day, no one could have pried her out of her household, so we're in it for the duration.

I'm not sure what the long-term prognosis is yet, but for now, we have our playful, fun, and happy kitten back. And that's worth a lot. I'll have some new Katie photos next week.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: An Interview with Chuck Sambuchino

Chuck Sambuchino is the editor of the Guide to Literary Agents blog and a long list of Writer's Digest publications. I asked Chuck questions ranging from his favorite chocolate chip cookies to what writers do wrong when they submit to agents. If you write, you don't want to miss this one. Find us here: http://chiseledinrock.blogspot.com/

I should have been a cowboy...

Well, technically a cowgirl. But really. I should have.

All those Zane Grey novels I read when I was young, the movies with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans and Rex Allen, the Arizona Cowboy, the cowboy songs like Red River Valley:

"Just remember the Red River Valley
And the cowboy who loved you so true."

I imagined myself on horseback at roundups and on cattle drives. Rodeos seemed romantic and a little dangerous, just like the men who rode the bucking broncos and bulls.

The most romantic place to live, of course, was a big cattle ranch. One with a bunkhouse full of cowboys and a foreman named Will or Sonny or Blackie.

I still like cowboy movies, old and new, and the reruns of favorite television westerns like Wagon Train, Gunsmoke and Have Gun, Will Travel.

So is it any wonder there's a cowboy in the short romance I'm writing? If a girl is trying her hardest to stay out of love, who has a better chance of winning her over than a cowboy?

The first half is written and has been critiqued. Now I need to tell the rest of the story. I'm posting about it here to nudge the Muse (also known as Nagging Whisper) and get her attention (and mine) back to those sweet cowboy days.

Are you writing today? What are you working on?

While I catch up on a few chores...

please have another cup of coffee and read this really funny Broken Hearts Blogfest post from Heidi Windmiller, who blogs at ...then she writes. I laughed out loud, so I hope you enjoy it too.

See you on Monday!

Creating Characters by Maryann Miller, Guest Blogger

Today I'm welcoming Maryann Miller, author, journalist, editor, screenwriter and more. She recently placed in the top 15 percent of entries in the Chesterfield Screenwriting Fellowship with the adaptation of her mystery, Open Season.

Maryann lives in east Texas with her husband and an assortment of farm animals and pets (although I'm betting they all count as pets with Maryann).


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Creating Characters by Maryann Miller, Guest Blogger

There are as many ways of approaching character development as there are writers, and I am not going to be so brazen as to say one approach is better than the other. What I will be brazen and say is the characters need to be fully developed to be engaging, and I doubt anyone will disagree with that.

Some writers spend a lot of time writing full bios of their main characters, but that approach has never worked for me. Sometimes a central character has come to me almost fully developed; sort of like meeting someone new at a social gathering and clicking immediately on some level. That is what happened with the character of Jenny in One Small Victory. When I read the news story about a woman who infiltrated a drug ring and helped bring down the main distributor in her small town, Jenny was as real to me as if she was a real person in the room with me.

For my two central characters in my latest book, Open Season, I started the development by interviewing a number of police officers to get a feel for how they work, think, and interact. A good friend, who was a retired Dallas officer, put me in contact with a number of those officers, including a young black female detective who became the model for Angel. Sarah, her counterpoint, was more of a composite of several officers I met.

Because I spent so many years as a journalist, interviewing people as part of the character development process comes naturally. During the interview, I not only get facts, but I get nuances of emotion, either through direct comments or body language. That adds another layer to a character. The reader gets to see what a character does and also gets to see how that character reacts, which is an important element of drama: action and reaction.

Once I have a basic idea of who my character is, I like to let her develop fully as the story progresses, and sometimes I am surprised at where she takes me. I think that element of surprise helps keep the story and the character fresh. I do jot down those surprises in a notebook so I can refer to them later if need be.

The one aspect of character development I work the hardest at is making sure the character is not a stereotype. Some time ago a writing instructor encouraged the class to look for ways to go against type or what is expected, and be careful about stereotyping characters: The black drug dealer, the Italian mobster, the Irish drunk, the lazy Hispanic.

His advice has always made me keenly aware of stereotyping, and for Open Season I purposely flip-flopped the more common development of a black woman coming from a lower-class environment and breaking out of the ghetto and a white woman coming from a middle class family. Sarah grew up desperately poor in the hills of TN and Angel grew up in a nice section of Dallas. Her father is a successful plumber and her brother is an attorney. Her only association with drugs or gangs was when she walked away from a relationship when the guy started using cocaine.

Working with Angel and Sarah has been interesting and they constantly challenge me to bring something fresh and different to the story and to their characterization. And for me, that is one of the best parts of being a writer.

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Thanks so much for being my guest today, Maryann. I'm looking forward to reading Open Season (amazon.com link), which is rapidly moving to the top of my stack of TBRs from Five Star.

For more information about Maryann and her books, as well as her editing and reviewing services, please visit her website. She also blogs at It's Not All Gravy.and is an author/editor contributor to The Blood-Red Pencil blog.

Wednesday Scramble (and "The Art of Rejection")

Tomorrow's guest

I'm excited to have Maryann Miller, editor and mystery author, visit us this week. Maryann's latest book from Five Star Publishing, Open Season, was released in January. Her post will be about Creating Characters.


Diana Holgvin-Balogh reports on "The Art of Rejection"

Diana, a member of Northern Colorado Writers, is working hard on revisions to her multicultural novel while planning her submissions and agent pitch schedules. She's well aware that rejection is part of the writerly experience, so she found this workshop especially helpful and agreed to share what she learned:


I recently attended The Association of Writers and Writing Programs (AWP) conference in Washington, DC. One highlight session “The Art of Rejection” gave me new insight. I jokingly asked the door attendant if they were going to offer therapeutic time with qualified counselors.

My attempt at humor wasn’t far off the thematic take. One speaker likened sending our manuscripts to a mother packing a nutritious lunch for a child and sending him off to school for the first day. The child gets bullied and beat up. The mother has to prop up the little child and send him off again. Familiar with that feeling, we laughed.

Other interesting arguments:

1) Four percentage acceptance rate means lots of stellar writers are being rejected. We’re all in good company.

2) Constant rejection tests our internal fortitude. Only dedicated writers will survive.

3) Easy acceptance means we’re aiming too low. Standards are high for a reason.

4) We, as readers, are discriminatory. Shouldn’t the gatekeepers be allowed their narrow subjectivity?

I’m not sure rejection will be any easier for me, but now I better understand and accept my feelings.


Jenny's Top 10 Conference Takeaways from the Northern Colorado Writers Conference

This post at The Writing Bug is a really good summary of Jenny's conference experience--what she learned from workshop sessions, panels, and conference speakers. Reading it, however, will make you want to attend a good writers' conference more than ever.


An Englishman in New Jersey: The Online Journal of Writer Jon Gibbs

Jon has a post at his site that might have been fun to send to the writers who pitched their books to agents at the Northern Colorado Writers Conference on Saturday. These are the 10 Things You Shouldn't Say to an Agent During an In-Person Pitch.

Number 10 is blank so I'll add the one I heard an agent mention during the agent panel at the conference. He said, "Don't go into the pitch session and begin by saying, 'This isn't my best work.'" No agent wants to feel unworthy of your best effort.


YA Paranormal author Carolina Valdez Miller has an agent

And to celebrate, there are all sorts of giveaways happening at Carolina's blog and others participating in the Agent Signing Celebration Mega Giveaway. One of the prizes is a Kindle. Another is a first-page critique from Carolina's agent.

The above link will take you to Carolina's blog and all the information you need to enter at her site as well as the other cooperating sites. Congratulations to Carolina, and thanks to her and her bloggie friends who are part of the Mega Giveaway.


Do you ever have a problem leaving a comment on this blog?

One of my writer/blogger friends tells me she cannot leave a comment on my blog when she's using the Firefox browser, but she has no trouble when using Internet Explorer. Another of her followers was unable to leave a comment here as well.

As a result, I'd like to poll those of you who visit today to see which browser you use and if you're able to post a comment.

If you cannot, please help me out by following the link to my profile where you'll find an e-mail link, and then e-mail that information to me. If I have a problem, I need to get it fixed, especially before we launch the A to Z April Blog Challenge 2011 (which, by the way, was up to 480 participants as of yesterday afternoon).

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: An Interview with Beth Groundwater

I hope you'll join me at Chiseled in Rock blog today where I've posted an interview with mystery author Beth Groundwater. Beth's new series kicks off with Deadly Currents. Protagonist Mandy Tanner is a whitewater river ranger, so I've asked Beth a few questions about how Mandy is like or different from Claire Hanover of the gift basket mysteries. It's an interesting look at how mystery writers handle two different series at one time when the main characters have little in common.

For more information on the stops for Beth's virtual book tour, see the schedule posted at her website.

I'm Ready to Seize the Day!

It was Saturday evening, and I came away from the Northern Colorado Writers Conference exhausted, motivated, energized, full of ideas and ready to tackle every project on my list with new energy.

The conference was well put together as always. Director Kerrie Flanagan and her creative team, plus all the outstanding volunteers, did a great job. Food was good, too. It's so great having a writers' conference of this quality right here in Northern Colorado. We have Kerrie to thank for that.

I had attended excellent sessions on fiction writing (including an outstanding idea for brainstorming I've never use before), writing for small presses, and a presentation on the myths of publishing from agent Rachelle Gardner. My own participation included moderating the agent/editor panel and acting as a reader for the slush pile event where two agents review one-page submissions and let attendees know at what point they would stop reading each submission and why.

But Saturday evening I went all zombie on myself and slept more hours than I would have thought possible. Sunday was pretty much a lost day. The most constructive thing I did was return a book to the library. I had so many things I wanted to do, but hitting that pillow for another good night's sleep won out.

So now that I'm all motivated and inspired and well-rested, it's time to seize the day. I'm going to begin by putting together the questions for three interviews I need to do. What's on your schedule for today?

Five Things That Really Tick Me Off

These aren't the only things that make my hair stand on end and push me toward "saying something," but they're high on the list:

1. Very bad language spoken loudly in public where sweet little old ladies and young children might overhear. This morning, sitting outside at a table in front of Starbucks, a 30 something gal practically yelled her extremely offensive profanity. For Pete's sake, folks, have a little respect for others and tone it down in public.

2. Bizarre clothing, multiple piercings, and pink and green striped hair on a teen who then gets huffy if I stare. Why do people appear in public like that if they don't want to attract attention?

3. Getting the door of the library shut in my face when I'm walking in with an armload of books. It's not that hard to glance behind, and it's lovely manners to hold the door open for others.

4. Waiting to make a left turn when the arrow has turned green and the person in front of me is daydreaming or distracted by something else going on in her car. And yes, it's almost always a female. I usually tap my horn, but what I'd really like to do is hold it down and scare the living daylights out of her.

5. Trashing anyone or anything in a public forum (and these days there seem to be no private forums). Writers who attack agents or whine about their rejection letters in their blogs are a good example. Professionals in any field should know better.

What about you? What really ticks you off?

Kansas-Colorado Connection—forever linked in history by Charlotte Hinger, Guest Blogger

It is my pleasure to introduce today's guest, Charlotte Hinger, a Western Kansas historian who is using her knowledge and background to write fiction. Her first novel, Deadly Descent, was inspired by a childhood listening to the natural born liars in her small community of Lone Elm, Kansas, and the mesmerizing “rest of the stories” whispered behind closed doors when she edited over 500 family submissions for county history books.

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Kansas-Colorado Connection—forever linked in history by Charlotte Hinger, Guest Blogger


I’m a native Kansan with a flaming state loyalty. I moved to Colorado after my husband died, because I have three daughters on the Front Range and my only blood kin was in Eastern Kansas. But I yearned for the endless prairies of Western Kansas. Then a friend, who is also a historian, reminded me that Colorado was once part of Kansas.

Yes! That’s all it took to settle my mind. In territorial days, the Territory of Kansas cut a wide swath through an area that now includes Denver, and an impressive chunk of the Front Range. Kansas has never been a peaceful state. Ten different men served as governor of the Kansas Territory and no one was more frustrated with the chaos of Kansas politics than James W. Denver. The city of Denver was named after this man. He wrote his wife that if he could get rid of Kansas he vowed “never to put my foot inside of their territory again.” He added “it requires all the powers conferred on me by the President to prevent them from cutting each other’s throats.”

So when people ask me where I get my ideas—in all honesty, the state bristles with stories. A famous historian once said that whatever was going to happen in America, happened first in Kansas.


The Lottie Albright mystery series, published by Poisoned Pen Press, is set in Western Kansas. I’m also a historian and am completing an academic book about 19th century Kansas African American politicians and their effect on the settlement of the West. Lethal Lineage, the second mystery, was just released. The murderous tensions within families provides intrigue. Twin sisters, Lottie and Josie Albright (a historian and a psychologist) become allies against common enemies on the plains. Lottie’s much older husband, Keith Fiene, would love to see his wife back in the ivory tower of historical research. But Lottie is drawn into an additional career as deputy, then undersheriff of Carlton County. She is drawn into deadly confrontations with other sheriffs, ranchers, historians, stepchildren, outsiders, and thrown into a stew seasoned with murder. The past is always present, and murderous people set in a state referred to as “Bleeding Kansas” from its violent beginning with border wars before the Civil War is the perfect setting for families up to no good.

Lethal Lineage begins in the tiny Episcopal Church of St. Helena, centered exactly on the corners of four counties in Western Kansas. The location was determined with a protractor and required the diplomatic skills used to divide up territory after World War 1. The first service, confirming Lottie’s and Josie’s niece, should have been a celebratory day. This is first time Lottie has seen her friend Mary Farnsworth in vestments. Mary is obviously distraught when she comes down the aisle. But from the moment a sinister bishop shows up and devastates the congregation with a blistering sermon, the event is doomed. The day ends in murder. Lottie soon becomes ensnared by this smoldering bishop with unexpected links to a wicked family dynasty bent on destruction.

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Charlotte has published a number of mystery short stories. Simon and Schuster published her historical novel, Come Spring, which won the Western Writers of America Medicine Pipe Award. Convinced that mystery writing and historical investigation go hand to hand, she applies her MA in history to academic articles and her wicked and depraved imagination to murder most foul.

Deadly Descent received a Kirkus Starred Review and was winner of the 2010 AZ Book Publishers Award for Best Mystery/Suspense.

You can find out more about Charlotte and her books at her website, and her blog about Kansas, writing and publishing, Bleeding Kansas.

Wednesday Scramble (with No Whining!)!

Tomorrow's Guest

I'm looking forward to presenting Charlotte Hinger, whose latest mystery, Lethal Lineage, was just released. I hope you'll join us.


What I'm Reading

Worth Dying For by Lee Child. Honestly, there's nothing I like better than a good Jack Reacher novel. I hope Mr. Child keeps on writing about Reacher for a long time.


Katrina Katie Kitten Update

Thanks to the Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital in Fort Collins, we now know that Katie has something called mega-esophagus and a probably hiatal hernia. The poor kitty was very sick because food was slow moving into her stomach and sometimes rolled right back into her esophagus. She's being treated now with medications to help heal the esophagus and lessen acid reflux, and in a few weeks she'll undergo more tests to make sure there really is a hernia or whether some other problem has surfaced. Eventually we may be faced with surgery for the little kitty.

For the moment, we are dealing with a bizarre combination or medicine times and conditions (like the one that must be given one hour after and one hour before any other medicine or food), and the requirement to keep the kitten in a vertical position during and for 30 minutes after feeding. We hold Katie's plate up high enough that she has to stand up to eat, and then one of us walks around holding her for the 30 minutes (or if she's especially cooperative and sleepy, we get to sit and hold her in position). Overall, she's doing better. But needless to say, if Katie recovers, she will be the most spoiled cat in the history of the world.


My Assignments for the Conference

I'll be moderating the agent panel at the Northern Colorado Writers Conference on Friday afternoon. I'll introduce the agents and then help field questions from attendees. I'm betting there will be a lot of questions about the future of the publishing industry and how agents fit into this new and dynamic model.

This year the slush pile torture event has been divided into two separate sessions running during the same hour. I'll be the reader for one of the sessions. Participants will submit the first page of their manuscript (with no name on it) at the time of registration. Submissions are picked at random and the reader begins to read out loud. The agents signal the place at which they would stop reading the submission, then they will explain why. These sessions are always well attended. Everyone wants to hear what agents like or dislike about a submission, even if they were afraid to add their own first page to the "slush pile."

Other than that, I plan on spending a lot of time attending workshops and panels and meeting lots of writers. And drinking coffee. And eating. Can't wait.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: Where's the Buzz?

I'm over at Chiseled in Rock for my Tuesday contribution and hope you stop by to say hi.

Today you'll find links to articles about and by Amanda Hocking (and if you don't know who she is, you need to check her out), some goodies about Twitter, a couple of posts about finding time to write and procrastination, and one more appeal for bloggers to sign up for the A to Z April Blog Challenge 2011.

Tomorrow will be the usual Wednesday Scramble right here (and I absolutely promise there will be no whining).

Crackers, Cheddar Cheese, and a Little Whine

This is what I call an I/me post.

Why am I whining?

Because:

1. I am seriously sleep-deprived.

Katrina Katie Kitten has required a lot of extra TLC and medicating as we try to get a diagnosis on her gastrointestinal problems. I get up with her at night, sometimes twice. I keep saying I'm going to take a nap in the afternoon when the kitten tends to sleep at least two hours straight, but I haven't done it yet.

2. I am way behind on my To Do List (which is partly why I haven't taken that nap yet).

We're roaring up on April and the A to Z April Blog Challenge 2011, yet I haven't visited hardly any blogs or left comments since the kitten got sick a month ago. I need a theme for my April posts, a plan, and some of the posts written ahead of time. And then there are the rest of the To Dos that need attention ASAP.

3. I haven't worked on either of my manuscripts for months.


It's time to regroup.

There's nothing better to energize and motivate a writer than a writers' conference, so I'll be at the Northern Colorado Writers Conference March 11-12 in Fort Collins.

Although I'll be home at night, Darling hubby will be primary kitty caregiver this weekend, dispensing meds and hopefully tending to any necessary night duties (insert a snort here).

Meanwhile, I have four days to catch up on my sleep, charge through the To Do List, and force myself to stop whining.

What Whitewater River Rangers Do by Beth Groundwater, Guest Blogger

I am so pleased to introduce Beth Groundwater, mystery author and friend, as today's guest. This is Beth's third stop in her blog book tour for the debut novel in her new Rocky Mountain Outdoor Adventures mystery series from Midnight Ink. The complete tour schedule can be found at Beth's website. You can catch an interview with her tomorrow at Miami Books Examiner.

As an introduction to Mandy Tanner, whitewater river ranger, Beth is here today to explain what Mandy's job is like.

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What Whitewater River Rangers Do by Beth Groundwater, Guest Blogger


In my March 8th release, Deadly Currents, the main character and sleuth, Mandy Tanner, is a whitewater river ranger who works for the Arkansas Headwaters Recreation Area in Salida, Colorado. Many of you may be familiar with what forest rangers do, but you may not know what a whitewater river ranger does.

Much like forest rangers, river rangers enforce the regulations of the national or state parks in which they work. They provide information to the public, such as river conditions, river regulations, safety, natural history, cultural history, and especially about being good stewards of the environment. River rangers may also collect data and samples for studies and assist in special research projects.

The parks issue licenses to outfitters to run commercial trips down the rivers and may require private users to buy permits, too. River rangers check for these licenses and permits, inspect outfitters’ businesses, check the safety of commercial and private boats, issue citations, and fill out paperwork. Like most river rangers, Mandy Tanner hates paperwork and would rather be outside all day.

River rangers also serve as first-response law enforcement officers, breaking up altercations between park users, dealing with intoxicated drunks, and handling all the amazing kinds of trouble people can get into. Since many don’t carry firearms, they’ll often call for backup from local county Sheriff’s Offices if the situation is serious.

River rangers maintain and clean up riverside recreation sites, including campgrounds, trails, beaches and boat ramps. They notify park engineers when repairs need to be made to park facilities and equipment. They may remove nonnative vegetation such as invasive weeds or re-vegetate social trails.

On whitewater rivers, downed trees in the river can be life-threatening hazards. When one is sighted in the river by a rafting guide or ranger, a crew is put together to remove the hazard. Deadly Currents includes a scene where Mandy has to chainsaw a tree hazard, with interesting results!

Most river rangers will agree that the days they look forward to most are those they spend on the river, conducting patrols. On these patrols, along with looking for hazards, they look for people on the river who are in trouble and may need rescues or medical assistance. On long rivers, these patrols may last many days and require camping overnight along the river. Deadly Currents starts out with Mandy attempting a whitewater rescue that goes seriously wrong.

Whitewater river rangers are expected to already be experienced in running whitewater when they apply for the job, and many are former commercial rafting guides. They take yearly classes in first aid and CPR and in swiftwater rescue techniques. To research Deadly Currents, I observed one of these class days and took extensive notes and photos.

In the first photo below, a ranger tied to a rope has gone into the water to rescue a swimmer and a raft is coming to pull them both out of the water. In the second photo, a raft is held in place and slowly moved side-to-side by rangers manning lines on both shores while one ranger in the raft probes a rapid with a pole, looking for a body. The last photo shows rangers manning ropes as they try to pull a stuck raft off of mid-river rocks. Note that they are all wearing wet or drysuits, PFDs (lifejackets) and helmets for their personal safety. Also look at all the ropes involved!







River rangers work all over the United States and in other countries. To give you an idea, in Colorado, they patrol the Arkansas, Colorado, Dolores, Gunnison, and San Miguel rivers and in Oregon, they patrol the Deschutes, Grande Ronde, John Day, Klamath, North Umpqua, and Rogue rivers. If you’d like to learn more about whitewater river rangering, check out this blog written by a river ranger for and about those whose job takes them down wild and scenic rivers.

Have you ever encountered a river ranger while on the river? What was she/he doing? Do you think being a river ranger sounds like an attractive job or not? What questions do you have about river ranger job duties? Remember, everyone who comments will be entered into a contest for a free copy of Deadly Currents.

If you’d like to see what the other stops are on my virtual book tour, go to: http://bethgroundwater.com/2011_Virtual_Book_Tour.html, and if you’d like to order an autographed copy of Deadly Currents, go to the website for Black Cat Books and click on "Contact Us”. Either call the phone number or fill out the form with your contact information.

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Beth Groundwater writes the Claire Hanover gift basket designer mystery series (A Real Basket Case, a 2007 Best First Novel Agatha Award finalist, and To Hell in a Handbasket, 2009) and the Rocky Mountain Outdoor Adventures mystery series starring whitewater river ranger Mandy Tanner. The first, Deadly Currents, will be released March 8th.

Beth lives in Colorado and enjoys its many outdoor activities, including skiing, hiking, and whitewater rafting. She loves talking to book clubs, too, and not just for the gossip and wine!

Please visit her website at bethgroundwater.com and her blog at bethgroundwater.blogspot.com.

Wednesday Scramble

Tomorrow's Guest is Beth Groundwater

Beth will be here tomorrow on the third stop of her blog book tour for Deadly Currents, the first book in the Rocky Mountain Outdoor Adventures mystery series featuring whitewater river ranger Mandy Tanner. Beth's post is all about Mandy's chosen career. I hope you'll join us.


Blogging from A to Z April Challenge 2011

The number of participating bloggers has reached 353 as of yesterday afternoon. Arlee Bird of tossing it out blog was originally aiming for 300, but it looks like 500 is not out of reach.

Be brave, join the adventure. Click HERE to register. Easy as pie. Chocolate pie.


Katie Kitten Report

Katie continues to get better, but we're still taking her in for a consult with one of the resident internal medicine veterinarians at the Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital on Thursday. Hopefully, they'll help us zero in on a firm diagnosis since they have a few more diagnostic tools than our regular veterinarian does.


Big Announcement from Colorado Mystery Author Cricket McRae

Check out "It's Official!" at her blog, Hearth Cricket.


Do You Kiss Your Animals?

This question is from Jean at Two Old Horses and Me. Drop by Jean's place and weigh in on this extremely important question.


Starting to Fill in the Spring and Summer Guest Blog Schedule

I'm lining up some wonderful new guests in all genres. Authors with a new release scheduled for May 1st or later are especially welcome. If you go to my complete profile (link in the sidebar), you'll find a link to my e-mail address.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: What's New from Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers?

You know the drill. I'm at Chiseled in Rock today, this time with new books to tell you about from some of our wonderful RMFW authors. I hope you'll drop by and leave a comment.

You might want to be a regular there as we'll be interviewing authors, agents, and editors. We've also been known to give stuff away and sometimes just be silly.

By the way, Chiseled in Rock is now on Twitter, and we'd love to have more followers. Oddly enough, the Chiseled in Rock Twitter ID is @Chiseledinrock