Chuck Sambuchino's The Worst Storyline Ever Contest

Here's one you don't want to miss. Chuck Sambuchino's The Worst Storyline Ever Contest has been posted at Literary Agent Rachelle Gardner's blog. The contest ends at 11:59 p.m., PST, Tues, Oct. 3, 2011.

All of the rules are on the September 29th blog post linked above. Here are the prizes:

1. A query letter critique from author and editor Chuck Sambuchino (Guide to Literary Agents blog)
2. A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents
3. Praise on Rachelle Gardner's blog from Chuck Sambuchino

Two runner-up prizes:

A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents

You all have great imaginations. Why don't you put them to work and enter your outrageous logline today?

Writing Tasty Scenes by Kelly Irvin, Guest Blogger

It's my pleasure to welcome Kelly Irvin to my blog today. By reading her website bio, I discovered that Kelly worked as a journalist for many years, "six years in the border towns of Laredo and El Paso, where she was exposed to culture and language that serves as fodder for her fiction writing. She has written hard news, features, entertainment pieces, restaurant critiques, editorials, and weekly columns."

Her latest novel, No Child of Mine, is scheduled for release on October 12. It sounds like a good one:

It "begins the day Daniel Martinez’s foster son Benny Garza is kidnapped at Homicide Detective Ray Johnson’s wedding reception in Helotes, Texas. In their search for Benny, Detectives Deborah Smith and Alex Luna find the bones of a little girl not far from the abduction site.

Determined to save Benny and solve a five-year-old murder, the team of investigators travel from the seamy underside of San Antonio’s drug dealing gang territory to the back roads of rural America where secrets fester in simple country homes."

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Writing Tasty Scenes by Kelly Irvin, Guest Blogger


When it comes to using my five senses to make scenes three dimensional on a flat piece of paper (or a computer screen) I have no problems with seeing, hearing, or even smelling. Where I find myself struggling is with the other two: taste and touch. Quite often, unless it’s a restaurant scene or a love scene—and no, we’re not going there—writers in general seem to have difficulty with taste and touch. We use the same bitter bile in the throat thing over and over again. Tree bark is rough under our heroine’s fingers as she hides from the villain.

What smells, tastes, and touches can you imagine that will thrust readers into the scene, making it vivid for them, and at the same time, propelling the story forward? That’s truly the hard part. Not throwing in random stuff with no meaning. These sensory details must tell us something about the characters, help us understand them, and move the story forward.

No problem. Right?

Smells are a fairly easy way of planting your reader in a scene. But we often resort to the cliché even here—the smell of newly cut grass, freshly brewed coffee—when there are so many from which we can choose. In my new release, No Child of Mine, the book opens in the point-of-view of a seven-year-old boy who is abducted in the first scene. Smells heighten Benny’s fear as he’s snatched by a man who slaps his huge, sweaty hand over Benny’s mouth and nose. Benny smells the man’s sweat. Then he’s thrown into a car trunk and the assailant bends over him, his breath on Benny’s face. It’s so bad it gags the child. After the trunk closes, he’s left in the dark where he can smell oil and gas. The smells keep the reader right there with a terrified little boy.

So what about taste? It’s tougher. Benny’s eating a fajita taco as he trots along the road to his foster dad’s car. For a malnourished kid who’s gone hungry on more than one occasion it tastes good and represents a sense of security that will be destroyed only a few minutes later.

Recently I challenged myself to use all five senses in the opening scene of a new piece. As always seeing and hearing were not a problem. My heroine is at the library reading to a group of children when a vet, who lost a leg in Afghanistan, tumbles down the stairs. In my new manuscript, we see the kids gathered around, raptly listening to the story. We hear the tale told by the heroine. We smell what the heroine describes as her favorite perfume, eau de books. We hear the thump, thump on the stairs when the vet falls. So far so good.

I longed to take care of taste by having my hero, the vet, bit his tongue in the fall and taste salty blood. Which would connect nicely back to horrific memories of battles, won and lost, where the blood of his buddies was shed. Problem? The scene is written in my heroine’s POV. No cheating allowed. At the moment, I’m still struggling with taste in this particular scene.

Touch. My heroine stoops to help the hero pick up books from the floor. Her hand brushes his and touches rough, ropy scars from burns he suffered in the war. Scars that represent much deeper unseen wounds. She draws back. He assumes she’s repulsed. She’s not. So begins the tension between them, marking the start of a complicated relationship. This first encounter sets the stage for the development of both characters.

Using all the senses makes for a richer, more vivid experience for readers. Being able to connect them to the story serves to heighten the drama. It’s a tall order, but writers like that. We live for tall tales and tall orders. So breathe deep, keep your eyes and ears open and don’t forget to taste every word.

If you have any ideas for using taste in my scene, please let me know!

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Thanks so much for being my guest today, Kelly.

For more information about Kelly and her books, visit her website and look for her on Facebook.

Wednesday Scramble

The Winner of Monday's Giveaway

Jenny of Choice City Native blog won my copy of The Ledge by Jim Davidson and Kevin Vaughan. I hope she finds it as exciting and as touching as I did.


Tomorrow's Guest Blogger

Kelly Irvin is the author of A Deadly Wilderness and the upcoming release, No Child of Mine, both published by Five Star. Her blog post, Writing Tasty Scenes, talks about using the five senses to bring our stories to life for the reader.


Katie Kitten is Fine Again

I'll never figure this kitty out. I keep telling her that my kitchen floor really is not clean enough to eat off of, but she does it anyway. Luckily her latest upset only lasted two days.


I'm Heading for the Ranch on Friday

We'll be hanging out in the bunkhouse at Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch this weekend, writing our little hearts out...when we're not eating or drinking coffee, walking around taking pictures, or just soaking up the solitude.

We have a little social time, but this retreat is mostly (and strictly enforced) quiet writing time. Some of us work in our rooms, some on the porches or balconies, or even sitting on the bridge over the river.

My goal is to do a detailed outline of the novel I'm going to write during NaNoWriMo. If I complete that task, I'll work on the two short stories I started and never finished.

Babbles from Scott Eagan

Scott is the literary agent with Greyhaus Literary Agency, which represents romance and women's fiction. His post yesterday, Why Harlequin IS the Place To Be, is a fine reference for a fine publishing company. If you write in these genres, or are thinking about making the shift in the future, you'll find Scott's blog very helpful.


Remember that 30-Day Challenge to Clean Up My Office?

I failed. I failed miserably. I'm taking up the same challenge again in the hope I can create a beautiful and tidy work space before I begin NaNoWriMo on November 1st. I've already taken the "before" photos...hopefully I'll be able to take "after" pictures in my lifetime.


What I'm Reading

I just started Foreign Body by Robin Cook, a thriller about medical tourism in India.

It's pretty hard to decide what to read next at my house since I have way too many books on hand. Unfortunately, our annual Friends of the Library book sale is scheduled for the second weekend in October. There are so many books the sale is held at the mall. The last two hours on Sunday is a bag sale -- we pay $5.00 for a paper grocery bag and fill it up with as many hardbacks and paperbacks as we can. Irresistible! I'll be there.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: A Writer Without Chocolate is Like...

My first post about chocolate is up at Chiseled in Rock. I hope you'll drop by and enjoy this mouth-watering kickoff to the Chocolate Tour.

Monday, Monday: Announcing a Giveaway

Oops, Murphy wasn't quite finished

One last word about Murphy's Law...Katie Kitten's digestive system started acting up again Friday night, so I'll probably be spending some time at the vet with her this this week. And of course, this is the week I plugged in a whole bunch of activities I can't or don't want to cancel. By the time Friday rolls around and I head for the Northern Colorado Writers Retreat at Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch near Loveland, Colorado, I'll be more than ready to focus on nothing but writing (and catching up on my sleep too). I've commissioned my Muse (the Nag) to send Murphy on his way. She's very persuasive.


Friday Field Trip from Jenny at Choice City Native blog

Jenny takes you on a drive along Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park. Her photos are beautiful.


Dead Wrong is dead done...for now

Of course, if a nice agent or editor wants me to make changes, I'll say yes and go to work. But for now, I'm ready to send it out while I turn my attention to new projects (such as the novel I'll churn out in November during NaNoWriMo). I already know which standalone suspense novel idea I'm going to develop.


I'm giving away one copy of The Ledge by Jim Davidson and Kevin Vaughan

Follow the link to read all about this tense real life story of mountain climber Jim Davidson who almost died in a crevasse after climbing Mt. Ranier with his friend, Mike Price, who did not survive the fall.

To enter your name in the giveaway, just leave a comment below and make sure your e-mail address is available in the comment or through your profile when I click on your name. I'll cut off the entries at noon tomorrow (Tuesday) Mountain Time and announce the winner in my Wednesday Scramble.

This is Gonna Be a Good Day...if Murphy Be Willing

I've been finishing up the final edit on my novel for a week and a half and it shouldn't have taken this long. But you know how Murphy responds to people with deadlines. He throws every obstacle, complication, and time waster he can think of in the hopes he can derail our projects.

I've dealt with the tree people because our apple tree had fire blight, the doctor because my cat bit me and the injury was serious enough to require an antibiotic, ice packs because my hand was swollen and throbbed for two days, and plumbers because of a major leaky faucet in my kitchen that began to leak under the sink as well.

Even so, I can finish the editing today and submit my manuscript if nothing else goes wrong.

So I offered Murphy a chocolate bar from my secret stash and sort of hinted how bad it would be if the cat bit him. I'm kind of hoping he's done here and has moved on. But you know how it goes...anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Which made me almost afraid to title this post This is Gonna Be a Good Day. I did it anyway. Little old risk-taker me.

Through the Looking Glass: Publishing Today by Lynda Hilburn, Guest Blogger

I do find some of the most interesting people to appear on my blog. Today's guest, Lynda Hilburn, has been "a rock-and-roll singer/musician, a typesetter/copy editor for various newspapers and magazines, a professional psychic/tarot reader, a licensed psychotherapist, a certified clinical hypnotherapist, a newspaper columnist, a university instructor, a workshop presenter and a fiction writer.

And The Vampire Shrink is about psychologist Kismet Knight and the dysfunctional vampires she meets in the course of her Denver practice. There are the bad ones, as you would expect, and then there's Devereaux...

To read about the rest of Lynda's novels, visit her website.

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Through the Looking Glass: Publishing Today by Lynda Hilburn, Guest Blogger

Many thanks to Patricia for having me on her blog today!

“Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next.” – Lewis Carroll

I agree with those who say that nobody knows what’s going on with Publishing right now. “Reality” changes daily and as soon as we’re certain a trend is the “absolutely certain new direction,” it isn’t. Lots of people SAY they know. But they don’t.

Having said that, there are some folks – mostly authors who’ve stuck a toe into all the possible ponds – who can give educated guesses.

But, once again, nobody really knows. It’s easier to talk about publishing as we look in the rear view mirror, rather than gazing through the windshield (or the crystal ball).

It does seem to be the case, though, that it’s an exciting time to be an author.

My own publishing journey has been very strange, with many unexpected turns and twists. But compared to the alien landscape of today’s writing world, my story has become rather mundane.

I’ve been a non-fiction writer for a very long time. As a child and teenager, I wrote long, dramatic entries in various diaries and journals and eventually became quite adept at typing (on a manual typewriter) soulful, heart-wrenching letters to friends. (I’m a Leo. We do have a tendency toward the theatrical.) My academic and professional interests led me to create articles and training materials, in addition to writing newspaper columns. At one point, I had a weekly column in a couple of Boulder newspapers for 5 years (The Psychic Counselor). I was quite happy.

As a side note, I’ve been a vampire reader/fan since I first got my hands on Bram Stoker’s Dracula as a child (much to my mother’s horror). So, in 2003, when one of my hypnotherapy students noticed all the vampire books on my shelf and asked if I’d heard of a relatively new genre called “paranormal romance,” I had to investigate. This new-to-me genre knocked my socks off. Vampires as love/lust objects? Really? I already associated the dark nightwalkers with exotic sensuality, but actually having relationships with these bad boys? Sign me up!

So, needless to say, I read every book I could find and discovered there was actually a sub-genre called “vampire romance.” Be still my heart. As much as I loved Anne Rice’s Lestat, there wasn’t much heterosexual juice in that world.

I began to wonder if I might be able to write about vampires as fiction rather than non-fiction.

One day I was with a young client (I’m a psychotherapist) who talked about wanting to join a non-human group. As I listened to her words, I began to think about the similarities between her story and a few vampire books I’d read. I went home that night and started writing about a psychologist who finds a gorgeous vampire in her waiting room. The Vampire Shrink was born.

I sold that manuscript to a small publisher in 2007 and a second book in 2008. We then parted ways and I put the books up on Amazon and Smashwords.com myself in 2010. To my surprise and delight, they became best sellers.

In late 2009 and early 2010 self-pubbing really took off. Many people were doing very well, financially, from putting up their books themselves. Paranormals/vampires were especially successful. I couldn’t believe my stroke of luck at having followed JA Konrath’s advice to self-publish.

Since the books were best sellers, I was contacted by a new agent (my original agent and I had parted ways in 2008), who was able to get me an interesting 3-book deal. My first novel, The Vampire Shrink, and two more in the series would be jointly published in the UK by Quercus/Jo Fletcher Books and in the USA by Sterling Publishing/Silver Oak (Barnes and Noble).

That meant my first novel – the one everyone said I’d never sell because it was my first – has now reincarnated for the third time (don’t get me started about “rules”). I guess when the USA version comes out with its own cover, that will be a 4th reincarnation! See what I mean about a strange journey?

Anyway, it’s all wonderful. I love it down here in Alice’s world. Who knows what will happen next? Is that a rabbit?

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Lynda, thanks so much for joining us today. As much as I like to say I hate vampires, I really enjoyed the story and the characters in The Vampire Shrink.

In addition to Lynda's bio and excerpts of her writing, you'll find interesting articles at her website. Her blog is called Paranormality.

Wednesday Scramble

Thursday's Guest Blogger

Colorado author Lynda Hilburn will be here tomorrow! Her vampire series has just been released in the U.K. so we're all celebrating her exciting news. I read The Vampire Shrink when it first came out in the U.S. so I can say with authority that if you like super sexy vampire love stories, you'll really like this novel.


Cat Bite

Katie Kitten bit me so hard on the back of the hand on Monday that I had to visit the doctor and get an antibiotic. Since I've had little cat bites and scratches before with no problem, I was surprised to learn that cat bites can be very dangerous. Mine, of course, was a puncture wound, the worst kind. And since it's on the non-meaty side of my hand, it hurts like the devil.

It seems that Katie doesn't like being waked up from a very sound sleep by me attempting to remove her from my lap. I'll go about this a little more carefully in the future.

Speaking of cats, have you ever watched the Mean Kitty videos on You Tube? Try The Mean Kitty Song.


Making Wine

My grapes are ready to pick. I plan to make wine this year. I have Concord grapes, so my wine always tastes like Welch's grape juice. I'm thinking of mixing in another fruit, just for fun. Any suggestions?


What I'm Reading

I'm down to the last few pages of The Ledge, a mountain climbing story that terrifies and inspires. When Jim Davidson and his climbing partner Mike Price were coming down from Mount Ranier, they slipped into a huge crevasse and landed on a tiny ledge part way down. Mike did not survive the fall. The story of Jim's struggle to climb the crevasse wall is nothing short of astounding. The will to live, the strength we can call on when faced with disaster, and the horror of survivor's guilt make this a gripping memoir written by Jim Davidson and Kevin Vaughan. Highly recommended.

I don't know which book from my stacks and shelves I'll read next. So many books, so little time.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: What's New from Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers?

I'm over at Chiseled in Rock blog today to do a show and tell about a few of the new releases from the members of Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers.

Today's list has everything from young women's fiction to vampires, and the cover art is a treat in itself. I hope you'll stop by to say hi.

Worst Movies Ever Blogfest

I'm participating in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Worst Movies Ever Blogfest today. Alex says:

"Worst Movies Ever Blogfest!

On Monday, September 19, post a list of up to ten of the worst movies you’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. Films that just oozed awfulness and featured plot holes so big you could drive a bus through them. Any genre or year, but only theater and straight to video/DVD titles. (Otherwise we’d all list every movie ever made by the SyFy Channel!) Sign up, grab the button, and on September 19, give us the worst! And be sure to visit others participating in the blogfest."

The other 90+ players in this blogfest are listed at Alex's blog.

So with no further introduction, here are my ten nominees for worst movies ever:

1. The worst of the worst: Big Bad Mama with William Shatner and Angie Dickenson
2. Boogie Nights with Burt Reynolds and a whole laundry list of big names. Yes, I know it won awards. I don't know why.
3. The Razor's Edge starring Bill Murray.
4. The Misfits with Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe.
5. Anaconda with Jennifer Lopez.
6. Knight and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.
7. Vanilla Sky with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz
8. Mr. Brooks with Kevin Costner and Demi Moore
9. Old Dogs with John Travolta
10. There's Something About Mary starring Cameron Diaz

It was hard to settle on ten. Really bad movies are much easier to find than good ones.

Who Wants to Do NaNoWriMo With Me?

I'm going to participate in National Novel Writing Month with the following goals in mind:

1) Start a new book based on an idea I've played with for about five years.

2) Finish at least that 50,000 word draft between November 1st and November 30th. No excuses.

3) Use NaNoWriMo to develop the habit of writing every day.


If you sign up for NaNoWriMo, let me know. I'll post my progress each week on my Wednesday Scramble and invite all the rest of you to post your updates in the comment section.

Head on over the the National Novel Writing Month website and sign up now. I just did. My NaNoWriMo nom de plume is PattyPetunia.

Writers Need to Enter the "Zone" by Jim Ingraham, Guest Blogger

I'm so pleased to introduce Jim Ingraham to my blog today. Jim is published by Five Star/Cengage, so that already tells me he brings us a top-notch story that's well-written and well-edited.

Reading Jim's bio from his website increased my interest in checking out his work. He has a well-rounded background in the military and in education, but that's not all. Who couldn't love a writer who says this about his life experience:

"I have been a skip chaser in Detroit and New York, a cello player in the Michigan State University Symphony Orchestra, an extra in two movies in Los Angeles, a portrait painter, a piano player in bars in Detroit and Providence, Rhode Island. I've been in jail in Japan and kicked out of mansions in Beverly Hills for party crashing. I was a paper boy on the waterfront in Portland, Maine, where my series character, Duff Kerrigan, now lives and works. I twice ran away from home and was expelled from high school for knocking down a priest who belted me in the back of the head for not doing my homework. At another high school I earned letters in football and basketball. I sang in a cathedral choir and in the a cappella choir at Michigan State University. I wrote the English lyrics of a Rachmaninoff lieder for Bethany Beardsley's senior recital, and I wrote the fight song still used by South Portland High School's football team in Maine."

I'm already a fan just from that bio.

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Writers Need to Enter the "Zone" by Jim Ingraham, Guest Blogger


I have just spent three hours finding the right words for a paragraph in a novel I have been working on for years. In those three hours I typed probably five hundred words and kept thirty-six. I hear about writers turning out 1500 words a day. I don’t envy them. I’d love to find that many right words in a day’s working session, but I never do. Sometimes I grind out as many as fifty. Sometimes I delete a week’s worth of words I was once content with.

No editor will care how diligently I turn out what I accept. No reader will care whether I used this phrase or another. But I care.

Writing is a challenge. Accepting that challenge every day for three hours is the joy of my life. Nothing, except sharing my life with my family, gives me greater pleasure than finding the right words to express my idea.

I want other people to mirror my pleasure, but I don’t expect them to. I write because I love writing, not because I want to please anyone but myself.

I’m often asked how I make up a story. When John Steinbeck was asked, he said he didn’t know, although he had written some good ones. I know how I go about it, but I don’t recommend my method to anyone.

I believe that successful writers have to be functionally schizoid. To enter the ‘zone,’ which lies beyond the concentration barrier, you must at least partially abandon the world of reason and enter a world of your imagination. To some, this is a sanctuary. Many writers become jittery and anxious when they don’t have a story to go to. When they can enter their make-believe world every day, they’re happy. I am one of those.

I build a story as I would make an abstract painting. I start with a scene that promises conflict. Necessarily it contains characters who do things and say things. I then seek motives based upon what they have said or done—it doesn’t matter: I don’t have a story in mind. If I were building an abstract painting, I would have no idea what the final product would be. But every line, every splash, every color would influence what I could follow up with. So in building a story, everything in the beginning chapter has an influence upon what I can add.

The binding factor is motive. I ask the characters what they would do. They make choices which influence or even determine what another character will do. Sometimes I have to modify what is in the opening to make sense of what has come later. I don’t have a story in mind until I’ve gone past what I think is the middle. And then it’s only a vague and sketchy thing. I have no idea how the story will end. I read what I have written more than a hundred times to learn what’s going on with my people. I become frustrated. I’m ready to throw what I have out the window, convinced that I can’t make anything worth reading out of it. But I study what I’ve written and find threads I did not develop, actions I didn’t see the implications of. Ultimately I learn what the story is about and I bring things to a conclusion.

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Thanks so much, Jim, for being my guest today. I'll hope you'll visit us again when future books are released.

To learn lots more about Jim and his novels and short stories, visit his website. Some of his titles are now available for Kindle. Sahara Dust will be available October 12th but can be pre-ordered now. The synopsis is on the Five Star website.

Wednesday Scramble

Tomorrow's Guest Author

I'm excited to welcome Jim Ingraham to my blog for his first visit (and I hope not his last). Jim is the author of the Randa Sorel mystery, Sahara Dust, scheduled for release in October. I hope you'll join us tomorrow to learn more about Jim and his books.


Douglas County Writers' Conference

I met a lovely lady (and author of historical romance) Jean Jacobsen at the Colorado Gold Writers Conference, and she told me all about this one-day event at Castle View High School in Castle Rock, Colorado, scheduled for Saturday, October 8th, from 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM. This conference is for new and experienced writers:

"A full day of workshops, lunch, and a keynote presentation by Kate Chenery Tweedy, daughter of Penny Chenery Tweedy and award-winning author of "Secretariat's Meadow: The Land, The Family, The Legend."

The cost of this conference is only $75, and you can pitch an agent or publisher for an additional $25. For more information, visit the Douglas County Libraries website where you'll find a link to a detailed description of the workshops.


Pikes Peak Writing Contest for Unpublished Writers

This well-known writing contest will begin taking submissions on September 15th. For more information, visit the Pikes Peak Writers website.


What I'm Doing

I'm working on the final edits to my suspense novel, trying to catch up on my To Do List of things neglected while I prepared for and attended the conference including blog visits, and planning how I can squeeze in a call to the plumber about my leaky faucets, the door guy who installed the new storm door and now needs to realign it so it will close properly, the tree guys who need to take down the diseased apple tree, and the carpet cleaning guy, and the yard guy...Phew! I guess I better get busy.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: I Found the Gold in Denver

My Chiseled in Rock post today is about the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Colorado Gold Conference and the workshops that really stood out for me. I hope you'll come on over and add some of your own favorite conference experiences from across the country.

Physically Home and Totally Pooped

Conference weekends are incredible, but it's going to take me a couple more days to recover from the Colorado Gold experience in Denver.

After four hours learning about contracts in a master class, I was already on information overload. Thank goodness for a great presenter and an excellent handout. And that was just Friday morning.

To add to the weekend challenge, we were all painfully aware that Sunday was the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I think most everyone experienced the sadness of the day as well as a feeling of pride that we are strong and that we'll always try to carry on, no matter what happens.

By the time I arrived home yesterday afternoon, I was worn out. The weekend was emotional, without a doubt, but there was joy in being together with friends. Now we're home.

Yes, time once again to focus and just do it.

See you tomorrow for Chiseled in Rock Tuesday.

In My Absence...

I have a few photos for you. I'm sure everyone already knows I'm in Denver at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Conference, so I won't go into that any further. I leave you with these four photos.

Northern Colorado Clouds at Sunset

Katie Kitten Behaving Badly

(She acts like she owns the place)

See you Monday!

"The Bill of Writes" by Joseph L. Giacalone, Guest Blogger

Today's guest is primarily for mystery and thriller writers, but I noticed a few things in this criminal justice instructor's post that might be good for any of us to know during a routine visit with the authorities. You'll see what I mean when you read on.

Please welcome Joe Giacalone, author of The Criminal Investigative Function: A Guide for New Investigators.

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“The Bill of Writes” by Joseph L. Giacalone, Guest Blogger


Crime and mystery writers everywhere spend hours writing and days researching their craft. I for one would prefer to spend more time writing. To save you time, here are some tips on how to handle the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Amendments in your crime stories. These are the issues that tend to show up most often in crime writing and cause readers like me fits when I see it done wrong. The following can help the writer concentrate on developing their characters and give their writing that real-life feeling.




The Fourth Amendment deals with Search and Seizure issues.

• Guarantees against unreasonable searches and seizures.
• The arrest of a person is considered a seizure.
• Creates a requirement that officers need a warrant and have to provide probable cause to get that warrant.
• The warrant must describe the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized -- if it is not on a warrant, your character can’t take it.
• Mapp v. Ohio is the famous case which applied the Federal Exclusionary Rule to the states. The Federal Exclusionary Rule states that any evidence obtained unlawfully will be excluded in court.
• The Fruits of the Poisonous Tree -- any evidence obtained after an initial bad search will not be admissible.

Where does your suspect have a “Right to Privacy?”

• In their home it is an absolute right -- must have a warrant unless an exception exists. The most abused exception is the Emergency Exception. The police can enter any premise when they reasonably believe that an emergency exists. However, once the emergency is over, they must get a warrant if the suspect has an absolute right to privacy at the location, i.e. there is no such thing as a Crime Scene Exception!
• In a vehicle -- less privacy because it is in a public place.
• In public even less.

The Fifth and Sixth Amendments - Right not to incriminate oneself and the Right to Counsel

• Since 1787 all U.S. citizens had the right to remain silent and a right to an attorney.
• The Miranda Warnings are NOT a Constitutional Right, but have been given a Constitutional setting.
• Only sworn, active-duty police officers read Miranda when necessary. It does not apply to private persons, i.e. private investigators.
• The writer must use the reading of Miranda under the following condition ONLY: Interrogation + Custody = Miranda. If either the interrogation or the custody are not present, then no Miranda is necessary, don’t waste your readers' time. This is why no Miranda is necessary to conduct interviews.
• Suspects can only waive their right to counsel voluntarily, intelligently and knowingly. The police cannot not use trickery or threats to get a waiver.
• Ensure that your witnesses and victims are separated to avoid interview contamination, i.e. they don’t talk to one another to get their stories straight.

The Interrogation

• The goal is to obtain an admission or a confession. A confession is preferable.
• The interrogation room is absurdly small.
• The case investigator is the only one that asks questions! The partner is only a note taker.
• It is not a fishing expedition. Investigators don’t ask questions that they don’t already know the answer to.
• If you can’t get them to tell you the truth, get them to tell you lies.
• Interrogations start with open ended questions that elicit a story from the suspect and then is followed up with closed ended questions which establish facts.
• No leading questions, the answer is in the question and no compound questions, more than one question in the same question. Ask one question at a time!
• The police can lie about the existence of evidence but cannot fabricate it. For example, they can say, “We recovered your DNA from the crime scene,” but they cannot show them a fake DNA report or fake prints, etc.

What separates your crime or mystery story from another? Accuracy! I want to see a setting that incorporates all of the senses. For example, how do you think an interrogation room smells with three people in it after being awake for twenty hours in a row? I understand that each author has literary license, but you are not writing a romance story. Crime and mystery stories should have that real-life feel to it. It is easy to create that setting when the writer follows the “Bill of Writes.”

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Joe, I appreciate your helpful post and hope we have plenty of mystery writers dropping by today to benefit from this information and to ask questions.

I'm reminded of the former policeman in my own critique group who read each chapter of my suspense novel and then gently reminded me "it wouldn't happen this way in real life." If we're going to include policemen and private investigators in our stories, we should try our best to get it right.

Joseph L. Giacalone is a 20 year law enforcement supervisor and the author of the The Criminal Investigative Function: A Guide for New Investigators. He is also an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice and in his spare time writes the Cold Case Squad Blog.

Learn more about Joe and his book at his website and by following him on Twitter at @JoeGiacalone and @ColdCaseSquad.

Wednesday Scramble

Thursday's Guest

I have a special guest for mystery/suspense/thriller writers tomorrow. Joseph L. Giacalone is the author of The Criminal Investigative Function: A Guide for New Investigators and a law enforcement veteran with a special interest in cold cases. I hope you'll stop by tomorrow and read his post on "The Bill of Writes."


Elspeth is at it again

If you didn't read Elspeth Antonelli's "10 Lessons for Writers" post at It's a Mystery blog yesterday, you missed a bit of fun (especially if you're a writer).


Insecure Writers Support Group

Yesterday Alex J. Cavanaugh posted a few answers and tips for those bloggers participating in the Insecure Writers Support Group. This is the day (the first Wednesday of every month) the 102 insecure writers who signed up get to share their pain and misery in an angst-filled post at their own blogs.

Although I didn't sign up to share my pain, I do plan to visit as many of the participating bloggers as I can and see what they have to say, perhaps leave an encouraging comment here and there. I notice quite a few of my blogging friends on the list. Are all writers insecure? What do you think?


A Chicken Soup for the Soul Callout for Heavenly Stories

I saw this notice on Donna's Book Pub yesterday, so wanted to share it here. You all know about Chicken Soup for the Soul, so I don't have to explain. Here's the link to the publication's current list of Possible Books.


"Being an At-Home Writer" at Raintree Writers Blog

The critique group I belong to is called Raintree Writers (because our original group was formed after taking a novel-writing class at the local Senior Center which is located on Raintree Drive).

We have a website and blog, and hope to start posting more articles to celebrate the writing life. You might enjoy this one from April Moore, author of the soon to be published nonfiction book on the Folsom 93, the 93 men hung at Folsom prison before the practice was abandoned.



What I Did Yesterday Afternoon

I worked and worked and worked getting things done in advance of the writer's conference this weekend. And that's what I'll be doing today as well. So much to do, so little time.

Chiseled in Rock Tuesday: Ten Things...

Today you'll find me at Chiseled in Rock blog with a list of ten things I'm going to do at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Colorado Gold Conference this coming weekend. Will you be there?

Lining Up Guest Bloggers for 1st Quarter 2012

It's very hard to believe, but it's almost time to start scheduling my guest authors and bloggers for the first part of 2012.

If you have a book scheduled for release early next year, and if you want to promote that book on my blog as a single post or part of a blog book tour, contact me as soon as you have a firm publication date. Mondays and Thursdays will be open to guests.

I want to focus more on the mystery/suspense/thriller genre, including YA and Middle Grade mysteries, but women's fiction, fantasy/sci fi, some horror and paranormal novels, and other genres interest me as well. Since I read all kinds of fiction and non-fiction, it's very hard for me to exclude most writers.

Authors of erotica and graphic gore might want to skip me, however. I'm inclined to avoid novelists I wouldn't recommend to my mom or my 13-year-old grandniece. I'm just sayin'.

A link to my e-mail address is included in my blogger profile, or you can leave a comment below along with your contact information.

Good Ways to Increase Your Followers on Twitter

For those of you who don't already know this, I love Twitter. It's the most amazing way to connect up with people all over the world who share your interests (or even just one of your interests). I mostly follow those who love to read books or those who write them, anyone who tweets original funny stuff, and social media gurus. I also follow a few news and political tweeters and some other oddball characters I picked up along the way, just cause they seem like nice, interesting people (and don't remotely resemble ax murderers or perverts or behave like stalkers).

The best way to increase the number of people who follow you is to follow new people and hope they return the favor. Stacy Juba came up with a Twitter Hopalong to help her blog visitors spread the word about their Twitter IDs. You add a comment to Stacy's blog and state what you tweet about, add your Twitter ID url, and then scroll up the list to find a few new friends to follow.

In addition, Stacy is blogging about Twitter all this week. Her previous posts are:
5 Easy Steps to Managing Twitter
How Authors Can Maximize Twitter to Promote Book Sales

Another sure way to pick up new followers is to make the content of your tweets so interesting that your current followers frequently RT (retweet) your messages. I often follow someone new because their message finds its way into my stream via one of the folks I follow.

And finally, make friends on Twitter. Engage with people. Retweet the good tweets and links you see. And then go out and follow some of the people recommended by Twitter. If they're like me, they'll go to your profile and check you out, and if they like what they see, they'll follow you.

Now take advantage of Stacy's great idea to connect with a few people. Hop over there to that Twitter Hopalong, add your comment and Twitter ID url to the post, and follow some of those folks who've left their info. I've already picked up a new batch of great followers, thanks to Stacy.

And just so you know, my Twitter ID is @PStoltey.

Books Change--Or Do They? by Joan Reeves, Guest Blogger

Joan Reeves writes funny, sexy, romance novels with great covers to attract your attention. When Joan turned to ebooks instead of print as a way to get her stories to her readers quickly and efficiently, she made a great decision. Her most recent release, Romeo and Judy Anne, was ranked #486 last week on amazon.com in the Kindle Store at $2.99.

Like most of us, regardless of the genre in which she writes, Joan likes to read a variety of authors in a wide range of genres. Some of those books turn out to be keepers.

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Books Change--Or Do They? by Joan Reeves, Guest Blogger


A lot of people think that ebooks are a flash in the pan. That they're not "real" books. Does that make them fake books? Real books get respect. They get treasured. They get saved and sometimes find a permanent spot on a reader's shelf. They have become a "keeper" that's to be held and eventually re-read.

Do you have keeper books? Perhaps a keeper shelf? Chances are, if you read a lot, you do. I know I have, not just a shelf, but entire bookcases of keeper books. Many don't understand this compulsion to read books that we've already read. How best to explain the desire to revisit a book after a year, or two, or ten?

I read a wonderful quotation about this very subject that was attributed to the late William Robertson Davies, one of Canada’s most popular authors. Mr. Davies wrote novels and plays as well as dramatic criticism. He was also a journalist and a professor. Mr. Davies explained the allure of books on our keeper shelves this way: "The great sin is to assume that something that has been read once has been read forever."

Ah, we keepers of books can attest to that. We have our favorites that we turn to again and again, and each time we discover something different in those well-read words. For my daughter, the book she reads every year is Dune. For me, it varies.

Will ebooks make keeper books a thing of the past? I think not. One of the many things I love about my Kindle is that it makes my keeper shelf virtually limitless. I can store a thousand books and access them within minutes.

As someone who has moved frequently in her life, and has had to cull the library each time, I love knowing that I never have to get rid of a book again. No more do I worry about the weight of boxes or the imminent collapse of an overfilled bookcase. I carry my library with me now in my purse. I even have the books arranged in collections by genre.

My keeper shelves in the study contain The Good Earth by Pearl Buck, Watchers and Lightning by Dean Koontz, A Rose In Winter by Kathleen Woodiwiss, The Ninja by Eric Von Lustbader, Shotgun Saturday Night by Bill Crider, Panzer Spirit by Tom Townsend, O. Henry Short Stories, my 12th grade English Lit book, the Jane Austen books, and so many more. I'm finding those same books as ebooks and loading them to my Kindle too.

Recently, I was flattered to receive an email from a woman who described herself as a "confirmed fan" of mine. She'd bought all my ebook romantic comedies and said they were keepers that she planned to re-read when she felt she needed a lift. You better believe that put a smile on my face. My ebooks are keepers to her. I know I mark some ebooks as keepers. I think we can justifiably conclude that the concept of keeper books will not slide down the digital divide and disappear.

Mr. Davies used the example of Thackeray’s Vanity Fair in his discourse on re-reading. The book is usually required reading in college, but the book you read at 18 is different, you’ll discover, from the one you read 20 years later. The older you get, the more your vision of that book changes. The words have not changed, but the experience you’ve incurred with every year changes you so what you get from the book will be different each time.

I once thought that reading a book again was like meeting an old friend after a long absence. In life, when this happens, we see the changes in our friends. In re-reading a favorite book, meeting that old friend again, as it were, we note that the book has a different resonance. It affects us differently. Same number of pages. Same words. The book has not changed. We have.

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Thanks, Joan, for this excellent reminder to revisit our "keepers." I have quite a few that I'd love to read again and see how "they" have changed.

Joan Reeves is the Kindle Bestseller Author of 5 romantic comedies and Written Wisdom, Quotation-Inspired Essays for Writers and Readers. Learn more about Joan and her books at her website and her blog, Sling Words.