The name is Author. Published Author. ... by Richard Keller

Pat, thank you once again for having me as a guest columnist at your website. The coupon for a free twerking lesson is on the way to you as per our agreement. And apologies – the stripper pole Zumba class was full.

Well, here it is. For those who can’t see the image, I’m talking about the copy of Paradise Not Quite Lost that arrived via mail to my palatial home not too long ago. For those of you listening to this column, I have no idea how you’re doing it, because I never recorded one. You may need to go to the hospital and get that checked out.

I digress. It was a glorious day as I opened up the envelope to reveal 313 pages of writing goodness surrounded in an eye-catching coating. I put my pants back on – see my previous guest post – had dinner with my family, and basked in the glow of virtual congratulations from various social media sites. And then I went to work on a new project.

See, I can’t sit still. My head is full of buzzing ideas that are ready to be caught and put into the pretend honey pot for game tickets that get me a single piece of bubble gum at the prize counter. Can you tell I’ve recently been to Chuck E. Cheese? I can’t stop the ideas from flowing. They even occur when I’m writing at the local coffee shop and hear/eavesdrop on snippets of conversation from nearby tables.

By the way, that’s my next project – Coffee Cup Tales: Stories Inspired by Overheard Conversations at the Coffee Shop. You may or may not see the cover here depending if I pick one from the hundreds of gorillas working for me at desks in my basement. Oh, and it’s the first book from my brand-spanking new self-publishing company – Wooden Pants Publishing.

You may be asking yourself why I’m producing a self-published book now when Paradise Not Quite Lost is coming out. There are a few reasons why. One is the fact I’m not quite sure when PNQL is coming out. The publisher is still sending out promotional galleys and being mum on an exact date. She must be really working heard on it though, because her voice mail is always full and she never responds to my emails.

The second reason is more personal. I’ve been truly blessed with a cranium full of ideas and the ability to quickly get them down on paper to resemble stories. I once ignored this ability, now I cherish and nurture it so it continues to grow. And if that means I’m able to produce several books under the Wooden Pants imprint while the one from the traditional publisher floats in limbo, so be it.

There’s one more reason why I’ve decided to create Coffee Cup Tales – I darn well better have a book to sell at the Northern Colorado Writers Conference at the end of March because I’m on the New Authors panel. I hope to see some of you there to join me in the celebration. And bring cash, because, after all, I’m selling one book or another.

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Rich, it's always a pleasure having you as my guest blogger. Please keep me on the waiting list for the next stripper pole Zumba class, but only if you're the one who's teaching it. The twerking lesson will have to do for now.

I look forward to attending the New Author panel. at the Northern Colorado Writers Conference and hearing a little more about those coffee shop conversations.